Season 1 Finale: Inner Witness

Apologies for the sound quality. The video was completely lost and the audio just barely made it out.

The Holy Failure of the Holy Spirit

Christians like to avoid testable claims. They also like to hide the magic in the work of the Holy Spirit. Unfortunately, that pushes them into the territory of testability. The bible is not helpful because it makes a lot of claims about what the Holy Spirit is supposed to do. Before moving forward with my thesis, I want to digress into a bit of madness regarding nomenclature:

A better name

What is the Holy Spirit's name? The big guy is some version of YHWH. The favorite son is named Jesus and is also called the Christ. But the HS is the god with no name. That is even more tragic than a horse with no name.

According to the book, god is a spirit. Also, god is holy. So just as a basic description, god IS the Holy Spirit. But god also has a personality split three ways. So it would get rather confusing to just call god the holiest of spirits. Still, if they had to tack on a third wheel, why not give him/her a name? This madness must stop! I'm giving him a name.

From this point on, the Holy Spirit will be referred to as Bob. Back to the article...

Failure of the inner witness

In court, a witness is someone who can shed light on the overall claim presented by the prosecution or the defense. If the witness does not successfully do that in a way that forward's the case of the claimant, she is a failed witness. If a fingerprint expert can't actually solidify the forensic evidence, that expert is useless, and most likely a liability.

According to WLC, the inner witness of Bob is supposed to be an unmistakable presence of god. It is supposed to provide irrefutable evidence for the one experiencing it. Among the assurances it provides is the existence of god, the truth of Christian claims, and the fact that the person with the inner witness of Bob is saved. These are testable claims.

People who have had Bob inside them are walking away from Christianity at alarming rates. Even when they don't leave completely, they publicly doubt the existence of god, or the truth claims of Christianity, or that they are really saved. They often don't have high confidence in any of these things.

One might be tempted to defend Bob by saying that he provided those things initially. But over time, the believer's confidence faded. That doesn't work. The work Bob supposedly did in the beginning is the work he is doing continually as long as he is inside you. Bob is always in the believer and always giving these unmistakable assurances. The fact that so many Christians slip into doubt with Bob inside them suggests that Bob is a failed witness.

The half-assed armor

Paul instructs the Ephesians to put on the whole armor of god. In doing so, Paul makes testable claims about the armor. Let's look at the text:

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his great power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can fight against the devil’s evil tricks. Our fight is not against people on earth but against the rulers and authorities and the powers of this world’s darkness, against the spiritual powers of evil in the heavenly world. That is why you need to put on God’s full armor. Then on the day of evil you will be able to stand strong. And when you have finished the whole fight, you will still be standing. So stand strong, with the belt of truth tied around your waist and the protection of right living on your chest. On your feet wear the Good News of peace to help you stand strong. And also use the shield of faith with which you can stop all the burning arrows of the Evil One. Eph. 6:10-16

According to this passage, the whole armor of god will help you fight against the devil's evil tricks, or stand against the wiles of the devil, as other translations put it. How is that working out for the Christians who are wearing this half-assed armor? In the passage, there is "the shield of faith with which you can stop all the burning arrows of the Evil One". You won't just tentatively deflect a few of them. It will stop all of them. But based on the uncountable times those burning arrows get through to their target, that shield of faith is full of holes. It is a really bad shield.

Here is another promise not evidenced in real life

My dear children, you belong to God and have defeated them; because God’s Spirit, who is in you, is greater than the devil, who is in the world. 1John 4:4

Try to number the times you have heard the excuse that a believer faltered due to the vicious attacks of the devil. But how is that possible if Bob is greater than the devil? Bob should have the believer winning those battles every time. As we all know, it doesn't work that way. Bob's armor is full of holes and he fights like crap.

Bob will abandon you when you need her the most

Here is another little gem from the book

Do Not Extinguish the Spirit. Do not quench the Spirit. 1Th. 5:19

This makes it sound like Bob is made of fire that can easily be put out by water. I hope you don't need Bob on a rainy day. We have already established that Satan can punch through that weak-assed armor. So believers filled with Bob are going to sin, and sin big. Unfortunately, that is just the kind of thing that extinguishes Bob.

On the day that the wiles of the devil overtake you, Bob is going to run and hide and pout like the thin-skinned, thumb-sucking snowflake of a crybaby he is. You quenched Bob by doing the very thing from which he is supposed to be protecting you. Thanks for nothing, Bob!

The powerlessness of prayer

As near as I can tell, prayer is only useful for getting evangelists high-quality pool tables and olympic-sized swimming pools. It seems to do nothing to protect believers from anything. According to the book, when believers pray, Bob is there to translate and plead their case before god. That sounds like a very useful thing in a battle against the powers of the air.

Only, try to count the times where the powers of the literal air have wrecked the homes and lives of believers by way of storms that god controls. If Bob can't protect you against literal air, what do you expect will happen when you are assaulted by the powers of the pretend air?

Bob will cut and run like a coward. Look at all the good preachers who slide into temptation. The powers of the air win again. Look at the number of times Christians pray to be delivered from evil and for god to create in them a clean heart. Those prayers are handled by Bob. Look at all the times those prayers are not answered.

Conclusion: It's Time to Fire Bob

Let's face it: Bob is shit at his job and everyone knows it! As an inner witness, he gives you no assurances. As armor, he is full of holes the devil easily exploits. And as a prayer warrior, he fails to deliver the requests that really matter. He's too busy buying planes and pool tables for preachers to help you with your temptations.

Bob is AWOL. When he can be found, he is hiding behind a rock with a gun full of blanks. If you offend him, he will be extinguished and walk off in a huff.

Is Bob a Holy Spirit? He is a spirit in that he is as insubstantial as a ghost who is never there when the cameras are rolling. As for being holy, maybe he's too holy for us. He is too holy for real people with real issues in the real hour of our real need. You are just too insignificant and too sinful and too human for him to stick around for very long.

Perhaps what you need is something less spirit and more substantial -- less holy and more human. You need someone who has been through what you are going through, and who will give you real advice and dependable support in your hour of need. You need someone who will judge you less and love you enough to not cut and run when the real shit hits the real fan.

I offer myself and the people who surround and support me with love. We aren't perfect, We won't promise you the world. And we ain't gonna buy you no goddamned pool table! But what little comfort we can give is more than the nothing you get from snowflake Bob. Put down the half-assed armor of Bob and join us in the real fight to make the world a better place.

See you in the comments, and everywhere else good people happen to be...

David Johnson